numb

Is there ever a point in time when you just stop feeling things? After so much hurt and disappointment, is it possible for someone to just not feel anything? I feel like that is what I am going through right now. There really is only so much someone can take before he or she just gets used to getting their hopes up only to be left with nothing. I personally believe that there is someone out there for everyone. I have 100 % confidence in my Heavenly Father and knowing that he will never leave me alone. Is it bad that I just honestly wanna give up? I am going to go ahead and be "that girl" and say that majority of guys are the same. Most guys around here are scared of commitment. Why? well, it is scary! What if he isn't who he says he is? The older I get I honestly get more and more scared of serious relationships. Why? because the longer you're in one, the more hurt you are going to get. NO ONE SHOULD FEEL LIKE THIS! I honestly think that I have only been in love and really loved one person in my life. It was the longest relationship I was ever in and I probably am still getting over it all. I wanna feel like that again. I want to be sad when I can spend  all my time with someone. I want him to come see me at work because it is killing him to be away from me that long. I want the passion, the love, I want something REAL. I am tired of getting hurt and getting lied to. I just feel numb. Am I ever going to find that one that makes my heart skip a beat? Is all of that even real? I am not the typical mormon girl who is just waiting to get married. I don't wanna just marry someone to get married. That is absolutely the dumbest thing I can think of. I just want someone real. I want love that will never end. I want to be absolutely certain that for the rest of my life I will be completely sure that he is the one that I will be happy spending eternity with. But what do I have right now? Numb. I can't feel hurt. I don't really get excited if someone seems interested in me because I just figure that it won't work out and i'll be crushed again. Welcome to the life of being skeptical. THE STRUGGLE IS REAL!