Big lippin'

This weekend I had an interesting experience. After eating at five guys Saturday night my bottom lip began to swell and naturally, I began to FREAK OUT. Like who wouldn't if they saw their bottom lip basically swallow their top lip. Oh the struggle. Well after church on Sunday I found myself in an urgent care being treated for some sort of allergic reaction. I don't even know what to but it's been such an embarrassing struggle. I never thought it would be difficult to eat cereal (besides when I had my tonsils out). I felt like such an awkward idiot when I would talk to anyone. I knew they noticed how bad it looked. My sweet boyfriend tried to reassure me everything was fine but I still felt like it was terrible. And after he and some friends made Punny lip jokes and compared me to the monster off monsters inc who gets his lips stuck in a vaccuum,

 I was insanely positive I couldn't be seen by anyone. But luckily I was blessed with an amazing boyfriend that told me countless times that no matter what he thought I was beautiful. But enough of my sappy-ness. Enjoy the picture of me with a swollen lip. Not to mention it's still pretty swollen on Tuesday... The struggle is real

When you know, you know.

Have you ever been so sure of something you thought you were going to explode if someone didn't agree with you?! Nothing is more difficult then trying to persuade someone to believe the way you should! But why have to? Shouldn't it all just smoothly go together? Nope. That isn't life. You have to work for what you want. Nothing comes easy if it's worth it. Sometimes it's hard because it requires things that you lack. Like patience, money, time, or strength. Thankfully I was raised to always know to put my trust and my faith in The Lord. It may have taken almost 20 years for me to actually do it, but I did it. Never allow the promptings from Heavenly Father slip away. If you feel it, do it. Don't wait for the right moment. Now all people have to do, once they know what to do, is do all they can to make it happen. Once you have done all you can do, trust that The Lord will bring you through the rest. The struggle is so real sometimes but as long as you believe that Heavenly Father is never going to let you fail, it will make everything easier. 

Reality may just be better...

So I'm laying here at almost 3 am and I can't sleep. Ever had those nights where you have so many thoughts in your head that nothing can drown them out? Welcome to the struggle of my night. There are so many loose ends in my life that I feel like I'm just waiting around to finally get an answer to. On the other hand, I feel happier than I've ever felt in my life. Is it possible to be kept awake because you're just too happy to sleep? I just am amazed that my life could really be so wonderful right now. Things are simple and surprisingly that makes me intensely happy. I feel like I've always been trying to make things difficult but this time it feels easy and perfect. Part of me is terrified that all this will end so fast but I'm mostly just too happy to even care. Luckily for me the night before I have to be up early, I can't sleep. Oh the struggle. But there's no way i would change anything about my life. (I never thought I'd ever say or think that!!)

I just don't know

There are so many things I'll never understand. I'll never understand why something's are so difficult. I'll never understand why one person can feel like something is right, but someone else feels completely different. I just wish I wasn't so confused on my life right now. All I want are answers to my questions. I've been praying so hard to know what I should do and why I feel the way I do. Am I stupid or something? Am I the only one who feels this way? How is it that one day everything feels perfect and the next day it's all over? I just don't understand my life right now. I can understand that things take time but what happens when things begin to happen then immediently shut off?? I just wish I had some answers other than 'I don't know'. I'm starting to lose faith in this situation and shut people out. Is it worth it? I feel like it is but then sometimes my tears tell me otherwise. THE STRUGGLE IS REAL. 

Just Call Me Evander Holyfield

If anyone doesn't know, I work as a special education instructional specialist at a high school around here. Sometimes days are better than others. Today was NOT one of those days. When one of my students I work with started screaming vulgar words at me, I knew that today was not going to be fun. After a few more minutes I found myself assisting one of my co workers in putting this kid in a restraint. Luckily for me he kicked me pretty good in the face before we got him settled. Floor restraints are not the easiest thing to keep going. While readjusting, I got kicked in the face again and bitten in the arm. At this time the student got a nose bleed and began trying to blow his blood on me. No worries y'all, he definitely did. Currently the score is Shelby 0, Student 4. Needless to say the score only doubled when I got my hair grabbed and a HUGE scratch on my arm. Final score? Shelby 1, Student 6. Why do I get a point? Because when I added my workouts to my calorie counter I burned over 600 calories due to an hour of wrestling. #winning #myjobisntalwaysfun #THESTRUGGLEISREAL

The Little Things

I'm going to start off my saying the struggle is REAL when it comes to growing up. There has been a lot of changes going on in my life lately. It feels so weird to say that I am two months away from being in my twenties. Not only has there been changes in my life, but for all of my family. My sweet brother got engaged to an amazing woman and I could NOT be happier for them! It just seems like everything is changing so fast. I just want time to slow down a little bit. Sometimes I wish that I could go back to me, Lauren, and Justin pretending to ice skate in the kitchen with our socks on. Something I really miss is the ability I have to just drive over to my Nana's house and talk to her and my sweet Pa. Life seemed to be so easy when my family mostly lived within an hour of each other. I hate that I took that for granted while I was young. I also miss being able to crawl into bed with my mom when I have a long day and having her tell me that everything is going to be okay. Nothing is worse than being a broke college kid and being thousands away from your momma's DELICIOUS home cooking. I think it might be a little too obvious that I am homesick. I will forever know to NEVER take the little things in life for granted. The little things make the big things possible.

Definitions

Is there a certain definition of a relationship? Are there certain things that must happen in order for two people to be dating? I have found myself insanely frustrated lately with the whole "DTR" thing. WHY?! What is the big deal of just being with someone and loving every single minute that you spend together. There is someone I have started seeing and every minute has been amazing. The only time I feel like I want to crawl into a hole is when the whole Defining the Relationship talk comes up. Don't get me wrong i'd LOVE to be considered his girlfriend, but is that really the most important thing? Everything seems so good and I am scared that putting a label on something will mess everything up. But why should it? Everyone thinks that we are dating already. But why does it matter what other people think?? I have gone back and forth with this stuff for DAYS. I think that everyone is at least a little bit scared to start a new relationship and if you aren't well, more power to you.   I have been praying so much because I don't want to mess something up  and I don't want to do something that I shouldn't. What happens if I feel like it is something that I should pursue but he isn't 100% sure? When did things become so complicated? Why can't it just be like "I like you" "Oh I like you too" BOOM. Together. End of Story! THE STRUGGLE IS REAL!