We Gon' Find You!

Okay so I don't really get why people have to be so insanely mean?? Lately people in my life have been treated like crap and I am honestly really sick of it. Just a note to any guy out there, BE HONEST. We are girls. If you lie, we're going to find out. We have like a 6th sense in finding out information. Like 95% of people have some sort of social networking site (okay I made that statistic up, but still). Don't make up dumb excuses about how you rushed into things when you really just weren't getting what you wanted from a perfectly amazing girl. Lying to a girl is one of the worst mistakes any guy can make because you've basically just ruined your reputation. She will tell her best friends and then they go and tell everyone else. Call us dumb, but that's how girls operate. I have definitely had my share of dumb lies told to me and it's just made me one of the most skeptical people in the world. UGH. Why do people have to lie? I want to punch anyone in the face that lies about something so stupid. What is the point? Lying is about as dumb as Aria picking Ezra over Jake! Seriously, DUMB idea. How amazing would life be if people were just honest? Yes, people would probably get their feelings hurt a little easier, but wouldn't you rather hurt a little over the truth than hurt more from believing the lie only to find out it was a lie?? I think I am on to something here so you can run and tell that, HOME BOY.

Call me maybe?

My brother in law just told me that he never believed his mom when she told him girls would be waiting by their phone for his call (when he said he'd call) until he watched me anxiously waiting for a guy to text me. Story of my life. YES, I am THAT girl right now. Oh how much fun it is to be the girl waiting for someone to maybe call or text you. Key word there? Maybe. Maybe he will text you today, maybe tomorrow, maybe never. Maybe i'll look like an idiot anxiously checking my phone for something that may never be there. Maybe I'm just too excited for the possibility of something amazing that could happen. Maybe I'm just tired of everyone around me being happily in love. Yes, I am very thankful for the life I have, but sometimes the loneliness is just a little harder to deal with. Maybe it just feels like happily ever after is way too far away. The only thing I know for certain is that times like this really make me miss my best friend who always knows exactly how I feel. Oh, the struggle is so real. 

Lessons Learned

I feel like there are some people and things in my life that I wasted my time on. I wasted two years of my life on a guy that honestly couldn't ever get his act together. He was definitely the first guy I loved and as stupid as it sounds, I really thought we would have a future together. I have always been the person to be organized and he just wasn't the same when it came to stuff like that.  As much as I tried to help and be the person to help get him where he needed to be, it was never my duty. Ever since we ended I have been kicking myself in the butt because I feel like I pushed him away. In reality I realize that it's okay. I learned that you can't make anyone see they need to change, that is just something that they will have to realize themselves. As hard as it was to leave and hear how he ended up, I know that the Lord knew there was something better out there for me. It was really tough at times to know that he was in a different place than I was but I know that now I will ask the Lord for help when deciding who I should spend my time with. I  also feel like I wasted a lot of my time trying to be a person that everyone liked. I always wanted to be included and well liked. I should of just tried to be myself. Someone that would make my family proud and my friends happy to be around. I learned the lesson that it's okay to be my weird and awkward self the hard way. There have been many times where I feel like I will honestly be forever alone, but then my amazing family and friends always show me that there is so much more that I have to offer. I know that sometimes life just feels like a huge smack in the face, but I really do believe that the struggles make us stronger and the Lord will never leave our sides when we are facing difficulty. So while the struggle may be real, Heavenly Father knows what he is doing and I, thankfully, have learned to trust him completely.

I feel sorry for you

For all of you that can't get out of high school, I feel sorry for you. For anyone that thinks the world will be handed to you, I feel sorry for you. For all the people who judge me for the decisions I've made, I feel sorry for you. Honestly, there have been so many people in my life that have been two faced and stabbed me in the back. I used to be really upset but now, I just feel sorry for them. I am happy and in so much of a better place physically, mentally, and emotionally. I do not care what is said about me back home because I know and The Lord knows the good I am trying to do. It really is sad to see how people can't grow up and act their age. Life may seem like a big party but when push comes to shove, it sure isn't easy. So while y'all begin to fall to rock bottom I'll be on my way to the top. I am perfectly happy with everyone negative being blocked out of my life. Literally. There isn't much I can do besides keep going and not let anyone bother me. Times like this just make me thankful for my wonderful family and few but true friends that I hold dear. 

Thankful for these blessings in my life. 

Pregnancy or polygamy? How about neither.

When word got out around Oxford that I was moving from Mississippi to Utah the rumors started flying. I found two of them quite humorous. The first one was that I was leaving school due to my recent pregnancy. I honestly LOLed at that for a good while. I went on like two dates this year and somehow ended up "having a baby". Sorry y'all but that isn't my style. Another funny one was that I was coming to Utah to be a polygamist. Like was the most cliche rumor for an LDS girl moving to Utah? "S spotted in the car with her sister wives headed to Utah. Baby on board sign hanging from the window". Like really? Both of those are far from true and really hilarious in my opinion. Maybe I just want to get away and find an attractive LDS guy to marry. But not in the eyes of mississippi. Oh how the struggle is so real. 

Struggle bus in the snow

I arrived at my new home to find about a foot of snow. Naturally, I wanted to go jump in it and build a snowman. Then I moved items in this morning and basically almost ended my life. I'm awkwardly really clumsy so the ice on the steps got me pretty bad this morning. Luckily I didn't fall too bad and no one saw how terrible my awkwardness was. Everyone keeps telling me that I'll feel lonely out here but honestly I am perfectly happy worrying about me and Lola (my sister and brother in law's dog). Yep. I'm one of those people now. Knockin out my loneliness with a dog. It's too bad she can't help me move all my stuff in..The struggle is real. 

Road trip education

Today marked the start of my big trip to Utah! First thing I learned within like an hour of traveling is I get car sick on long bumpy roads. I apparently can't do long car rides unless asleep or driving. Serious note there is nothing worse than being car sick on a 24 hour car trip. I am so thankful my mother is good at taking care of me!! I also confirmed my obsession with wanting to move to Texas to raise my family. I'm in love with everything Texas! I also ate one of the best steaks I'd ever eaten at The Big Texan in Amarillo. Like it was to die for. Nom nom nom. The sunset was absolutely beautiful and then the sky was full of stars. It was such an amazing picture of the beautiful things the Lord has created for us. If you have always wanted to road trip I'd definitely tell anyone to do it! Pictures will be uploaded from the crazy things I see. I'm excited to keep going as long as I'm not blowing chunks every couple of hours. Welcome to the struggle.